


take me to the rooftop

by petitjisung



Series: angsty [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Cancer, Character Death, Crying, Hurt Felix, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 14:12:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19021558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petitjisung/pseuds/petitjisung
Summary: felix wanted to see the world before he left.title from 'listen before i go' - billie eilish





	take me to the rooftop

**Author's Note:**

> blease dont read if youre sensitive this is sad.

 

  
he could feel it; his internal clock was winding down. his body was ready to go. he gave a glance to his right, squeezing chris's hand to get his attention. the male spared a smile, eyes questioning as he stroked the back of felix's hand.

  
"take me to the rooftop," the younger requested, voice frail and eyes begging. chris's smile turned sad, his eyes flooding with tears. he knew it too; this was felix's dying wish. "please, chris. i want to see the stars." _one last time_. it wasn't said, but it was implied. chris nodded, sniffling and attempting to help felix into his wheelchair.

  
"carry me, love. wanna feel your arms around me." chris laughed dryly, cradling felix in his arms and guiding the pole to his iv into his hand. then chris was walking down the hallway, felix's finger tracing circles in his chest and his head resting on his shoulder.

  
"i love you," the younger whispered as the elevator doors closed before them. chris smiled down at his lover, and felix's heart clenched. god, he didn't want to leave chris behind.

  
"i love you too, lix. so much." the elevator doors dinged as they opened, and chris stepped onto the roof, placing felix down on the rooftop bench. they huddled up together, staring at the sky with wonder and sorrow shining in both their eyes.

  
"i'm sorry, chris. i have to leave soon." the words were hushed, falling from pale, chapped lips. felix met chris' eyes, tears clouding his vision, and pressed a cold hand to chris's face. the older was already sobbing quietly, tears wetting felix's fingertips and making felix's heart throb with despair. god, he hated seeing chris cry.

  
"that's okay, lix. you deserve to rest," chris choked out, biting his lip to contain the sobs shaking his shoulders. "i love you so much, lixie." felix felt his heart drop, his lip trembling as he pressed his hands to chris' cheeks.

  
"don't cry, my love. we'll see each other again, i promise. you'll find someone new, and you'll be happy, and in our next life it'll be like we never parted," felix whispered, letting his forehead fall against his lover's.

  
"i don't want anyone else. i want you, lixie. i'll wait for you," chris choked out, cupping felix's cheeks like he'd disappear if they parted for even a moment. perhaps they would; felix was growing weak already. his lungs struggled to take in air. maybe this was a mistake. he was scared; scared to die, scared to finally discover what he would become. was there a life after death? would he disappear? god, he didn't want to leave. chris was his everything; he was chris' everything.

  
"i don't want to leave you," felix sobbed, clutching chris tightly as he cried. he studied chris' face, committing every curve and blemish to memory, as though he could take it with him to the end. as though any of this could change anything.

  
"it's okay, love." _i don't want you to leave_. "you can let go." _please don't leave me_. "i won't mind." _i'll follow you_. felix understood every unspoken word, everything chris wanted to say but simply couldn't. the fear settled into the pit of his stomach as his limbs began to numb. this was it. this was the end. his fingers fell from his lover's shirt, losing the strength to hold on. he gasped for air through his cries of despair, drooping eyes fixating on chris. only chris. chris was here. felix was okay; chris would help him. his vision started to blur, his wheezing breaths slowing with his heartbeat.

  
"it's okay, lix. i'm here, lix. i've got you." chris' voice was muffled, felix's jumbled brain barely able to comprehend anything besides the fact that this was chris; chris was here. he heard the voices of nurses, felt his boneless body lower onto the bench, a needle prick his arm. the stars twinkled in the sky, piercing felix's eyesight. his lips twitched into a smile. he felt chris' hands cupping his cheeks, stroking his hair. chris' head resting over his heart. _chris. only chris._

 

 

felix left the world seeing chris' smile reflecting in the stars.


End file.
